I am in this battleground, lost and waiting to be found.

Well, three days without posting, not that I haven't passed by, or that I've forgotten about u Blog. Matter of fact I've came and tried to post something, but at the end my wills met the wall. These days have been horrible, behind courtains and darkned windows, seems I can't see clearly, seems my feet haven't steped straight. Everything around me is nonsensing me, I hate to be like this, I hate to do this... and the truth is that is coming earlier each time it comes. I mean, now I'm getting to the spot where I feel so impotent, so weak... I need to get my ownself my ownbeing. I wish I could ripp this sking off and switch it with a fullwholenewlife pack. I know this reads so "numetal" but it isn't, from a fullofthingstodo day I'm turning to an empty place, an empty space...
No, is not that, my parents are great... I'm ok with my brothers and friends, it's all about me, it's all about having it all but not being happy. Maybe is all about having a dream and not trying to reach it. Maybe is all about being such the same kind of jerk I've always hated, those I never wanted to became in.

My calculus exam? ...I don't know I was thinking about it today, and watching it from today, I mean now that every hesitating adrenaline about the exam is gone, it seems I did better than what I thought. What I know is that I did better than what everybody said they did. What I did yesterday? ...Same thing I did today, same thing I did monday... going to school, doing homework and yara yara yara. I feel my days so the same, for example today, today could be anyhting, from monday to monya, holly shit it could be even "frionday"...


Ps...
I love u... each centimeter of ur skin, each word from ur mouth... each blink, each beat... everything... u my scapegoat.